I have made the decision. I am taking the plunge and starting my travels in Australia independently. I will be flying out with my friend, however upon arriving at Sydney airport we are going to go our separate ways. I’m staying in Sydney whilst she’s flying to Melbourne. At the moment I’m more excited than nervous, which I’m quite surprised at as this is something that I never in a million years pictured myself doing.

I know that backpacking tends to be quite spontaneous but I like to feel a bit more secure, which is why I have booked my hostel in Sydney (just for the first 3 nights until I get myself sorted out). This is making it seem a lot more real, and like I can actually look into what I want to do now. One thing that is really appealing to me is climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I am terrified of heights, but I’m also terrified of breaking out of my comfort zone. Travelling alone is pushing me out of my comfort zone so why not try and tackle my fear of heights at the same time? 

 

My next few months are going to be spent saving, and planning for this trip. It would be great to hear some recommendations on what to do whilst I’m in Australia, as well as being given some tips for independent travel.

 

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Taking a plunge…

A couple of posts ago I spoke about my depression, which is something that I finally seem to be getting over. Counselling really helped me and I finally feel closer to the “old me” than I have felt for the past year. My doctor has decided to reduce my dosage of anti depressants which is great, although it leaves me some anxiety over what I’m going to be like when I fully stop taking them. 

Although mentally I feel fine, I know that the past year has been horrendous to my social life. I pushed friends away and hurt them so badly that it feels like there is no turning back. One of my best friends, who I have lived with all throughout university has been at the receiving end of most of this, and although we’re still friends it just feels like it will never be the same. A few months ago we booked to go to Australia together, getting a one way ticket and arranging a place to stay when we get there. Another friend is planning on joining us a month after. 

All of this sounds great, but for a while I was questioning whether I should go. Whether I could handle it. Whether I would feel the same out there. Whether I would be the one to ruin it for my friends. I kept all these worries to myself, but eventually they came pouring out one day. My friend told me that she had never had any doubt that it wouldn’t be good, and that she thought I’d be perfectly fine out there. So I committed myself 100% to going. Then, a couple of days ago, she dropped the bombshell on me that she thinks for the first month out there we should do our own thing. Her reasoning for this is that I don’t speak up for myself, and she never knows what is going on in my head. She also feels that it would help me build confidence, which is something that I have been wanting for a long time. I completely understand her reasoning because it frustrates me too but it hurts me to think that she feels as though spending time alone with just me would be awful.

But now I’m faced with a dilemma…I still want to go, but I’m a stubborn person. I feel that she doesn’t want me to go, which is making me doubt myself. Part of me wants to just avoid the whole situation and stay in my comfort zone at home. Part of me wants to go and do my own thing, not even worrying about meeting up with my friends, having a whole new life. The final part of me wants to follow her plan of doing our own thing for a bit and then meeting up. But should I do that? The whole issue is me speaking up for myself, but will it even matter what I feel about this? It seems her mind is made up, now I just have to make up mine…

I bought myself the Lonely Planet Discover Australia book to get me in the mood and to try and work out what to do. The past couple of days I’ve been gearing myself up for going and doing my own thing, looking into things I could do etc. But I’m scared. I need to take the plunge but I felt like it was a scary enough plunge booking a one way ticket with somebody, let alone ended up in a strange country with no clue what to do. I don’t want to hold myself back, but I feel like I need somebody there to take the first few steps with me. I don’t want to feel like I’m trying to run before I can walk.

So, this is going to give me a lot to think about over the next few weeks, decisions need to be made, plans need to be created. Expect to hear more from me about this.

ImageBook available from Waterstones £14.29

 

Bit of random rambling…

I really wanted to keep up to date on this blog, rather than letting it slide like I have previously done. However as I’m a final year university student I have had to put my studies first. As I have 20,000 words to write within the next 5 or so weeks I really need to start knuckling down. Please can somebody suggest a way to motivate myself for this, I am avoiding doing work until I feel like I have to.

Although this was originally supposed to be a beauty blog I am at the stage where I feel it should just be a general blog. I’m definitely going to start using it more once I start travelling Australia as I feel it would be a good way to document my journey. Until that time comes I’m going to try and blog as often as possible, however I’m not going to commit to anything that I can’t come through with.

One thing I am currently trying to do is express my feelings more, as this is something that I have always struggled with. I have started to write down my feelings in a journal so they are private, but the next step for me is to be able to share these feelings. Ideally this would be with my friends, however I allow myself to put a barrier up when it comes to talking about that sort of thing, so it might be a good idea for me to share them on here. It is extremely difficult having this barrier as it stops me being completely honest with people and I can see it in their eyes that all they want is for me to be able to talk to them, rather than avoiding the situation.

Tomorrow I am heading back to Leeds for a long weekend, it’s my best friends 22nd so I’m looking forward to going out with my friends that I rarely see and just trying to enjoy myself before the grind of university beckons me back. As well as this I am looking forward to catching up with family, especially my grandparents who I have not seen since Christmas. I am extremely close to my grandparents so I hate that I live so far away from them, and I know this feeling is only going to increase when I move abroad.

I am also getting a long awaited hair cut, I have not had it done since August as I refuse to go anywhere but my trusty hairdresser, and as I have rarely been in Leeds I have not had the opportunity. Obviously I am going to have to get over this fear of a new hairdresser otherwise I am going to spend all my time in Australia with a mop head. My hair has become ridiculously dead, and I know I am going to get told off for dying my hair myself.

Recently I started epilating my legs, it’s something I have been wanting to do for a while but I always chickened out of it. I bought my own epilator a year or two ago and tried it once before throwing it away. Then my housemate started using one so I thought I would try again and I managed to brave the pain and it is the best thing I have ever done. I am quite a hairy person, normally my legs would be stubbly a few hours after shaving, now I’m fine for at least a week. The pain was quite severe at first but after a few sessions I have become used to it and I have taken the plunge and splashed out on my own epilator. I really wanted one with a light on because that is what I have been using and it helped to see all the fine hairs that you cannot see without the light. It was difficult finding a cheap one but then I came across the Braun Silk Epil 5780 on the Superdrug website, reduced to £49.95 from £99.99. I was initially reluctant to spend this much but then after seeing all the attachments that the epilator comes with as well as the brilliant reviews it has got I purchased it. I am currently waiting for it to be delivered but as soon as it does I plan on posting a review on here.

That’s all for now, hope everyone is well.

Roll on September!

So for the past few months I have been struggling with the idea of graduating and what my future would hold. I have religiously been applying for graduate schemes but been unsuccessful on numerous occasions which definitely knocked my confidence and put me off applying for more. The mere thought of having to go home and live with my parents until I find a job made me want to cry. So last week myself and my housemate decided had a bit of a crazy moment and booked one way tickets to Australia, which has also encouraged a few other friends to consider the trip. I’ve sorted out my visa and can happily say I leave England on the 25th September for what will hopefully be an amazing year in the sun. One downside to leaving is that I unfortunately will miss my university graduation ceremony however we have decided that we will try and don our cap and gowns at the beach as our own celebration, just so we don’t feel like we’re missing out on the biggest day of our university lives.

Bondi Beach in Sydney

I’ve already started researching what beauty products Australia has to offer so this is my wish list so far (I’m aware that some of the products may be available in the UK but as I have seen them on Australian sites I am including them on this list)

Moroccan Oil Hydrating Travel Kit $43/£23.20

Evo Easy Tiger Straightening Balm – $26.95/£14.54

Becca Mineral Tint SPF30+ Sunscreen – $28/£15.10

Inika Illuminisor – $34.16/£18.43

Model Co Fiber Lash Brush On Lashes Mascara – $43/£23.20

As I am going to spending a hell of a lot of time in the sun I believe that it is important to protect my skin which is why I have the Becca Mineral Tint on my wishlist as this will allow me to protect my face whilst still wearing a bit of makeup as a cover up. The other beauty products on my list are both similar to products that I have seen in the UK but have yet to try. I find the look of the Model Co mascara quite fascinating and I’m really excited to be able to try it once I get to Australia and the Inika Illuminisor will make my skin (and hopefully my tan) glow! Perfect. When I’m abroad in the sun I tend to not really bother with styling my hair which is why I’m quite interested in the Evo Easy Tiger Straightening Balm as this will hopefully allow me to be able to leave my hair without using heated appliances but not have to cope with the frizz that I sometimes have. The sun can be extremely damaging to the hair so I feel that the Moroccan Oil Hydrating Travel Kit will be perfect for keeping my hair well nourished as well as being easily portable for when I’m travelling around.

Does anybody have any Australian brands they can recommend? or have you tried anything on this list?

Please note: all products are available through http://www.adorebeauty.com.au and all prices and exchange rates were accurate at the time of posting.